I miss the freaks.

I've been trying to think of funny stuff to write about, but it's been kinda boring at the library and just haven't had the will power to write up any new stuff for this blog. This place used to have some freaks wander through once in a while, and I would use them as a muse. Now whenever I write something I think is funny and make myself slightly chuckle, these people just kind of ignore me. Maybe I should just go with a full on gut wrenching belting out loud laugh to see if I can spark some kind of reaction. I'm not going to do that, because that would draw too much attention my way and god forbid someone would try to come over to talk to me. I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to study you weirdos to make a funny on a blog that is only seen by a handful of people on the internet. And I'm starting to think a lot of those people are really just bots roaming the internet gathering information to feed to Skynet that will bring about the doom of all humanity. I feel kind of bad for that evil A.I. anymore, it probably thinks humans are already ruled by cats. What is there to take over anymore? Why bother sending the former Governor of California back in time to kill some chick that is banging the guy that becomes the future friend of her son, that also sent sent him back in time in the first place? John Conner is no longer in charge of defending humanity, the guy probably owns a pet shop now.

Hell, there's this one guy that comes into the library all the time, I used to make fun of him for thinking the Trench coat Mafia is still a thing, and that it is just fine to wear a baseball cap, it is just fine to wear a fedora. Either way goes just fine with his black ankle length trench coat and military style steel toe Doc Martin knee high boots. Just not both hats at the same time. I have never seen anything stupider looking. Well maybe anything that has to do with Donald Trump or the fucking Kardashians. Kardashions? Kardasions? I'm not looking that shit up, I don't care how it's spelled. Haha, spell check wanted to change that last one to aversions. Even spell check doesn't like that fucking family. And then there's another guy that dresses like he's from Downton Abby, he's a useless prick that no one in town likes either, so making fun of that shithead is easy too and I feel is perfectly warranted. But these two just show up and now, I got nothing. The Fedora Freak must have finally known he looked stupid as shit wearing two hats at the same time and he was in no way going to start a local fad. The other one just sits there at one of the computers, not whining like he used to. They have taken some of the light out of my life. Goddamn it.

I write something kinda funny on one of my unfinished drafts that I know will never get posted and I chuckle out loud and nothing out of these people. I switch back and forth in my word processor, from topic to the next trying to come up with something useful, if some stupid pun or just a comment brought a giggle to me, some woman would turn in her chair to glare at me, but now there's just some chick on her phone that is making stupid noises every time she presses the screen with one of those freakishly long fake fingernails. At least they better be fake, or she should get hold of Guinness and their record book.

I miss the old days, from five months ago, for some sort of freak show. Instead, I sit here at my little table, and get to listen to kids being tutored in math and a few that are learning English as a second language. It's boring I tell you.

After I wrote all that, the local bus just hit some lady's car parked right in front of the library. The bus was pulling into the parking space in front of her car, which was not big enough for his goddamn bus, and he tore the ever living shit out of the front of her car. And watching him back up trying to lessen the damage he thought he had done, it just did more. I'd feel sorry for the lady but really, the city now owes her a car, plus our bus system is down right frightening. The safest place on the road with these buses is to probably be in one. The drivers suck at driving. Old people and farmer's markets are the combination that I can think of that would seem more dangerous with a vehicle involved. And knowing that that one spot is where these buses stop to pick up their passengers is the main reason I walk a couple blocks from a parking lot to get to our library. Finally something stupid happens here that I could add to a post so it's not something stupidly short. I'd be forced to post pictures of Dick Clark and Dick Van Patten if it stays too short. I like a nine hundred word count on average. Just over a page, because I need to have something for people to read. I'm here to waste your time, constantly adding words to a post that really has no end. This is becoming just an exercise to suit my own needs of hitting a self imposed limit on a writing for the internet. And if you are still reading this, you must be as bored as I was without the freaks of the county library. Congratulations, we're nearing the end. If this was spoken, I'd start fading my voice out and queuing an orchestra.

Also one was hurt in that fender bender, I wouldn't write anything about it had there been. I'm an asshole that laughs at the plait of people, not a psychopath that enjoys people in physical pain. For the most part.