My Kidney's Are Great

I don't know what the correct amount of drinks should be consumed at a restaurant. But I can drink a lot, when I went to Comic-Con in San Diego, back in 2010, I would sit through panel after panel sipping on a large water bottle I took in with me. I sat in one of those ball rooms for a solid eight hour day, only getting up to hop to a better seat between panels. Not once did I hit the bathroom, by the final panel, Futurama FTFW (For the Fucking Win, trying to be hip, probably failed with that), and I had a good seat from three rows back. Fuck the big screens, I got to see those voice over actors pretty much up close and personal, and didn't really need to use the zoom on my camera for those pictures either. And after that panel I met up with my sister and mom at the Hard Rock Cafe, which they turned into Cafe Diem from the SciFi show Eureka, for dinner. When the waitress came by with a glass of water for me, they were charging $30 for a fucking salad and I was not going to pay for something to drink with ten pennies worth of sugar flavoring in it. Fucking rip off, even if that salad was damn good.

That waitress was damn good, she never let my glass empty. She told me after we got our food that I had drank two pitchers of water by myself. She was just impressed that I hadn't pissed myself at the table, or flooded their bathroom. She even asked if I had a catheter running to a bag tied to my leg. It would not surprise me at all if some of those geeks were going to those lengths so they didn't miss anything for that weekend. I told her I was just a desert creature and would drink like a camel at the oasis. I ate there the next day too, and the same girl was working the table I was seated to and she just left the pitcher there at the table and came back to refill that, easier on her feet with the less trips.

I have always had this condition, in high school, for lunch I would drink a three liter bottle of soda. Sure an hour or so later I had to piss like a fucking racehorse but that still won a number of bets that I could in fact drink that much fluid and not die. And now when I go to my favorite restaurant in town, I try to limit myself to only four glasses worth of iced tea. And one of the waitresses got the idea to bar back my drink. Here's a picture from lunch.

Those are two 32 oz cups. Two of them, they were both refilled twice. And I have that much every day. Sure this could be a sign of a problem but at least don't have kidney stones.